Captives of Our Past Failures: Imprisoned by Our Bad Experiences – Part Two

Bad Experiences

The second groups of captives are the ones living in prisons of self-deprecation due to their past failures. I can do this but as for this one I wouldn’t dare, I tried ones it did not work.

They have the potential to be the best as best as they can but, because of one mistake, because he tried some couple of times and failed, because of one cynical comment from someone, due to some bad experiences.

He promises himself never again. We forget to understand that in this life failures are bound and I like the way J.K. Rowling, the author of the epic novel Harry Potter puts it “it is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you have failed by default.

We have allowed ourselves to become captives of our failures, mistakes, wrong but temporal turn of events. Living with them in the past, mumbling about how we did not expect things to go this way; whilst life is busily going on the in the present.

We put all the blame on everything else but ourselves. Then we use them as an excuse, for not doing this and not venturing that, blaming them for what we are today and what we might not be tomorrow.

The reality most people do not see is that failure in its own sense is not a failure but a preparation ground for something better in the future. No wonder Malcolm Forbes said, “failure is a success if only we learn from it.”

Found in all Works of Life

These captives are found in all works of life. Some because of one business deal that resulted in a loss, they have decided not to invest in any venture again, no matter how lucrative it looks.

Others because of that one gesture or act of kindness that was misinterpreted and misunderstood, they’ve decided in their heart not to do any act of kindness again; remember, is your own blessings you are losing not mine or even the one who misunderstood your benevolence.

Just because of some few auditions that you were turned down, or because of one or two job interviews you went and you were not even shortlisted, you have decided not to apply for anything again. You come and ask some of us the number of times we have been turned down but we are still applying.

Because some external validators did not believe and rubber stamped your ideas, you have abandoned your life purpose and dreams; the best with that. Just because, some guy out there broke your heart, you have stereotype all men pushing away even the genuine potential suitors.

You be there, whilst he moves on; enjoying himself out there with someone else. Know that nothing good in this world comes with ease, ask the successful people out there, they will tell you, they all failed at some point in their lives, got turned down some couple of times, were misunderstood in some situations but they don’t let those events control their present no!! they pack those failures in the past where they belong, dust their hands off and move on.

As Confucius asserted “our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising every time we fail.”

Past is Not Present

The self-abuse, self-guilt, self-torture and the self-deprecation all because of what went wrong in the past will not help you in the present. This is because; all those who live in the past never make any difference in the present let alone in the future.

This was the mentality of the legendary filmmaker; Walt Disney captured in his words “around here we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things” no wonder the fame and fortune he made for himself.

The point here is not to look in the past; it is okay to look in the past for a moment because it makes us conscious of the choices that gave us those failures so as not to make those choices again. The advice here is, not to get stacked in there for long, for successful people are not those who do not look in the past, rather they are those who look in the past but do not live in the past.

They learn their lessons from those past failures and move on to live with the present. The most important thing is for you to move on, and keep on moving forward, there are always better things ahead.

Break free from the Captivity

Understand that yesterday is gone no matter what went wrong in there, but I still have today and ensure you make the best out of it, for today is all that you have to make a difference and in so doing tomorrow will be better.

Break free from the captivity of your past failures and face today with all optimism so you can have that future you long for. I could not have summarized all these in a better way than how rick warren admonished us in his bestseller the purpose driven life “we are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.”

Image source: Brigette Hyacinth